Hey.

I'm not even sure if this is still your e-mail address or if you've changed it since the last time I e-mailed.

I wanted to say I love you. I miss you, I need you, I want you? I fucked up by letting you go? I've been thinking about you more than ever since I saw you and I've figured out that I can't live without you - that I don't want to? that I'm sorry about the way your visit ended the other night. I was scared and nervous and shocked to see you - and that's no excuse for what I said or the way I treated you, and I've been metaphorically kicking myself since then.

I've decided to do the chemo. And I'd like to see you again, but only if you're comfortable with it. If not, that's okay too. I guess I just ... really miss your friendship. I know it was my fault that it ended, and I'd like the chance to maybe get it back.

Think about it, at least.

Ever yours,

Lauren